I'm going to be completely real here. A lot of guys are taking good relationships and turning them bad with their insecurities.
Am I talking to you?
Generally you know you are doing it. It is like an out of body experience where you can see yourself doing wrong and you just cannot stop yourself.
You know she does not react well to this behavior but it is hard to break this pattern.
I bet she has even warned you a number of times that she is getting sick and tired of it. At some point it will be your final warning.
Do you want it to come to that?
Of course not! You are reading this because you want help.
Here are 3 tips to help you overcome insecurities in relationships.
ONE: She is with you, right? RELAX!!!
It is amazing to me that so many guys date her, get her to fall in love and then seem to not believe that she really is in love with them. It reminds me of the 1954 Frank Sinatra movie called "Young At Heart."
Doris Day's character falls for the guy played by Frank Sinatra but he cannot believe it. His self-esteem is so tramped on that he just does not believe that she could love him.
Is that you? If you selected a good girl with a kind heart, integrity and she is clinically sane, then what are you worried about?
If she is in love with you, just go with it. I know the little devil guy on your shoulder is telling you that she would rather be with 10,000,000 other guys besides you.
Rubbish.
That is stinking thinking and you need to stop now. You are actually insulting her because essentially you are calling her an idiot for being in love with you since there are so many other good choices besides you.
TWO: Be like the duck
That is the catch-22 of falling in love. You give yourself over to the other person and then you are depending on the decisions of someone else for your happiness.
Welcome to relationships.
I know that you feel out of control, just as the duck must feel as he is paddling like mad to stay on top of the water.
Just as the duck has learned to look cool to the outside world, you need to do that with her.
You might want to tell her your deepest fears over losing her but what good will that do? You might want to question her every move for all the imaginary guys that you think she is with but what good will that do? You might want to ask her every waking minute how she feels about your relationship but what good will that do?
I think you can figure out that it will do NO GOOD.
If it does not raise her interest level in you, then shut your mouth. You might feel temporarily better by accusing her of a million imagined crimes and she might back down and let you have your insane insecure way with her, but ultimately you are just wrecking a good thing.
THREE: Stop being so inwardly focused
When you pull an insecure move (or moves) on her, you are not taking her feelings into consideration.
That is right, you are making it all about YOU and what your needs are when you do this.
How attractive is that in the long run? She is in the relationship with you because she wants something out of it too.
When you cry and moan like a little boy and question her every move or motive then you are making the relationship all about you instead of the two of you.
Learn to get outside of yourself and consider what SHE wants.
I hope the above tips will help you overcome your insecurities in relationships.
Remember guys, if you want to lose a good girl then keep showing her your insecurities over and over again.
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