The "ex" factor: Your ex-lover and you.

We often find ourselves musing at the question, “how do I relate with my ex?” As straight as the question may appear to the lay-man, the factor as to how to go about it surpasses most thinking. Come to think of it, why should you even talk to your ex? What business do I have with him/her; after all I’ve been through? What connections are left for me in him/her? Was I better of in the relationship than I am now? The list of thoughts go on, but what most people overlook is the fact that, even though the relationship had to end the way it did (not depending on what ended it), a thing or two beclouds the time spent that makes it memorable of our thoughts, such that, at given periods, we tend to look back at those times we were together; the good and ugly experiences shared and the wondrous desires the relationship afforded.
Going through the tides, you are forced to look back in dire evaluation, wondering the mended affection that it experienced with the ex-lover. This feeling is natural. You often feel you shouldn’t have quit the relationship, owning to the memories that rupture your thoughts making you feel self-unsure and uncomfortable when in the closest contact with your ex. You feel betrayed and de-barred. You feel loathed and despised even after so many while of having quit the relationship.
As against the thoughts of moving on, you will be considering being friends with your ex. This is the dreaded four-word phrase… “Can we be friends?” It’s a classic break-up line, but it’s also an issue that must be faced when a relationship hits the rocks. In truth, the question ought to be, should we be friends? And, if so, how will you be about it.
Now you see, an ex-girlfriend will normally not call you for the simple reason she hates you. In her eyes you are the scum of the earth. You become a “pure and applied evil”. And as far as she is concerned, the reason it all ended was your fault. This is a focal factor that ramifies the art of dating and continuity in relationship issues and consideration.

Watch out for the sequel to this piece in subsequent publications.