You do not just think that you have found your one true love, you know it within the very depths of your being that this is the one that fate has decreed you will spend many happy years with. If that is the case then wonderful, I am really pleased for you, just one small question, how do you really know? There are some very lucky people who do experience love at first sight, but if you are a mere mortal like the rest of us then how do you know? How do you know if it is true love and not infatuation, that is easy, patience.
You meet each other for the first time and in the background violins are playing and fireworks are going off. You both find that there is that tentative initial connection between you and so you start to see more of each other. And before you know it you have floated into the honeymoon period zone on a sea of romance. The honeymoon period is a bad time to make any major decisions because until it moves of you will be totally fixated by your partner. Your thoughts keep turning towards them, you spend as much time as is possible with them, they can do no wrong, and you overlook faults that might have otherwise have caught your eye. During the early stages it could be infatuation or lust, it could also be love.
At some point, the honeymoon period will end, reality will return and it is probably fair to say that this will be the first time that you really see each other. It could be that you start to notice those irritating habits that you had so far ignored. Maybe you have gone into this relationship with woefully unrealistic expectations and that you intend making your partner and relationship match the one that you have in your imagination. When you fall for someone, you fall for the whole package, faults and all. You do not look at how they can be changed, because if you change them then they are no longer the person that you fell in love with. If you really love them then you will do what you can to make them happy, you will take the time to find out what they want and need from the relationship, and you will listen to them and not the voice in your head saying this way would be better. Be happy with who you have and learn to make a happy and fulfilling life with them.
You might be head over heels about someone but that does not mean that you will build the relationship of your dreams with them, that takes work and commitment from both of you. You will probably have heard the saying that opposites attract, I do not doubt that some of them have gone on to make very happy relationships, but... If you are looking for a relationship that can go the distance, one which gives your life real meaning, then you need to find someone that you have something in common with such as hobbies or interests. Attraction is all very nice but unless you have something else then the relationship is unlikely to last. Do you like your partner, could they be your best friend and you theirs? You could be together for decades, the early passionate love will eventually fade and if you do not have a bond of friendship and companionship then your relationship will likely fade away.
How do you know if it is true love? Is it all about physical attraction? Do you continually make demands on your partner? Do you have any idea about your partners wants and needs, do you even care? Do you have to be with your partner 100% of the time so that they have no life outside of their relationship? Is passion your sole driving force or is there more to you? If this is you then I strongly suggest that you need to have some serious thought about how you live your life.
How do you know if it is true love? Will you give them their own space so that they can do their own thing, meet with friends, meet with family etc. Have you learnt how your partner thinks, what their wants and needs are, what their hopes and dreams are, do you know them enough to anticipate their needs? Are you prepared to devote the time and energy that is so necessary to making your relationship work? If your partner is not yet ready to commit to a serious relationship, will you give them the time that they need to be able to make that decision? Do you enjoy being with your partner and spending time in their company, can you talk to each other on the same wavelength, and do you want what is best for them, even if it means sacrifices on your part? You do? Then I think that you are in love.
The last two paragraphs showed you the extremes, there is also a lot of grey space in between. If you really love someone then you have to be ready to share your life with them, you have to be completely open and honest with them, if they need help you are their unconditional guarantee of support, and you will do what you can to make them happy, even if that means compromise and sacrifice on your part. Love is not just about the romance, it is about everything that goes into making you lives and relationship happy and fulfilling. To make it work you both have to love each other, and you both have to be committed to the relationship, you cannot have just one making all the running. Unless you are very lucky it will not be all plain sailing, you will have problems but if you work through them together you will come out stronger, more together and more in love.
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