Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What Does It Mean When Your Boyfriend Just Stops Talking to You? Don't Panic & Read This


Relationships are a maze of emotions and each emotion can be more complicated than the other. If your man suddenly stops talking to you, you obviously begin to feel worried about your relationship's future. But here are some of the things that could possibly be the reason for your man's sudden silence.

He is not heading for a break up
You need to have a clear mind when you deal with a situation like this. But don't begin to worry too much and fear the worst. Just because your man is not talking to you all of a sudden doesn't mean that he wants the relationship to end.

Be objective and analyze your behavior
Look within yourself and try to find out if you have done something that has hurt your boyfriend in some way. If you have then this could be his way of expressing his displeasure.

He could be having work problems
Men generally become very silent when they are faced with problem and issues at work. It could be that your boyfriend is having a hard time at work which is affecting his personal life. Give him some time or help him sort out his problems and all will be fine.

He might be in need of some space
Sometimes a man begins to withdraw when he feels like his space is being compromised on. Try to analyze your behavior and see if you have been controlling him too much or have been manipulating his time against his wishes. If you have then you need to stop so that he can feel free and in control of his life.

He might be trying to teach you a lesson
Your boyfriend could also be using the silent strategy on you to teach you a lesson. If at any time you have given him the silent treatment and made him feel completely helpless then he is meeting out the same behavior to you to make you see how it feels.

It could be a possible test
Some men also use the silence treatment to test the woman in their lives. They will try to see how their girlfriend deals with a situation such as this and how much she actually cares for him.

He could be losing interest in the relationship
Finally, if he is cutting you out of his life slowly and is fine in his behavior with others, then it could mean that he is losing interest in the relationship. Look for signs that suggest lack of interest and then take a decision on your future action.

The Healthy Relationship Secrets - The Difference Between Self-Ware and Self-Conscious


Healthy relationships begin with self-awareness, but self-consciousness can destroy your ability to interact confidently with others. Okay, Yoda...what the heck is the difference between the two? Actually, there's a HUGE difference, and once you have a clear understanding of this difference, you'll be able to snap right out of self-consciousness and build genuine confidence through self-awareness. Keep reading...

The Two Faces of Pride

Pride is a cancer to healthy relationships. It takes all of the focus off of building the relationship and puts it on one person. When this happens, the relationship becomes one sided and the other person starts putting their walls up to protect themselves from being taken for granted or being hurt. Pride and self-consciousness are directly related, in fact you could even consider them the same concept called by a different name. So what causes pride and how do you overcome it?

Pride is caused by being absorbed in oneself, and that doesn't always mean absorbed in how great you are. Self-absorbed people are more often absorbed in their own shortcomings than they are in their strengths. This is the person who is afraid to interact genuinely with others because of what those others might think. This is the person who is always putting themselves down, and who (to some) might be considered to be shy or timid.

However, shyness and timidity both come from being absorbed in one's own imperfections. Such people are always thinking of themselves and how horrible they are, and this can be just as bad (if not worse) than the puffed up "I'm better than everyone else" pride. As long as a person is proud and self-absorbed, they will never be able to build genuine confidence...at best, they can fake it, but they'll always have the inner fear of being "found out."

So, how can you escape this and build confidence based on self-awareness?

The Root of Genuine Confidence

Self-awareness is knowing who you are without being absorbed in who you are. People who are self-aware seek to understand themselves better, but not for the sake of validating themselves to others or invalidating themselves to others for fear that others will feel unimportant. In other words, people who are self-aware seek understanding for the sake of consistently growing and improving themselves, not for the reward of social validation.

This requires the acceptance of both your strengths AND your "weaknesses" and accepting them both as a part of who you are. This is how a person becomes integrated and mature, and this is the foundation of finding and keeping healthy relationships.

3 Certified Things To Do For Better Relationships

A man invited a new friend home from work for supper. When they walked in the door the man greeted his wife with a kiss and asked how her day had gone. After listening to her intently, they had supper and he told her at the end of the meal how wonderful the food was and then helped clear the table. When the two men were alone in the front room, the new friend comment on the great meal and how attentive the man had been toward his wife. The man told his friend, 'Letting my wife know how important she is to me, asking her how her day went and helping around the house makes for a very happy marriage.'

The friend went home and as soon as he got into the house he greeted his wife with a big kiss, hugs and asked how her day went. She immediately broke into uncontrollable tears. He calmed her down and asked what was wrong. She then went into a long list of how one of the kids caught in trouble at school, that the van broke down on the way home, the kitchen sink was leaking again and then she said, 'As if all that isn't enough now you have come home drunk!'

Sometimes the best intentions can backfire in trying to improve our relationships.

Everyone can benefit from building better relationships and here are three basic steps to take every day.

1. Tell someone in your life how much you appreciate them every day. There is nothing more important that saying thank you. It may sound old fashion but gratitude goes a long way in your personal life and your business relationships.
2. Let people know that you really care about what is happening in their life. To be appreciated for what you do for others, knowing that someone really cares about what happens in your life is empowering. Showing you care does not have to involve knowing every detail of another's life. It is as simple as fully listening to them talk about their day and affirming them as someone important in your life.
3. Be willing to help others in any way you can without expecting something in return. The ancient concept that it is better to give than to receive is still true. Will there be those who might take advantage of you - maybe? Are there others who will be less than grateful - probably? In the long run your life will be filled with people who appreciate you as a giver and not a taker.

This life is far too short to spend it trying to get all we can while ignoring the needs of others all around us. Helen Keller stated; "Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow-men. It then appears that we are among the privileged."

Now let it be your privilege to reach out to those around you. Let them know that you appreciate them, fully listen to their heart and then selflessly help them.

The Truth that Self-Awareness Alerts You to Fears and Needs Which Sabotage Your Relationships


Many fears and needs exert power over your emotions, reactions and behaviors in a relationship. Often you are not aware neither of them, nor of they way they drive you to sabotage your relationships. When your relationship fails and you develop a new one - or stay with your partner albeit your problems - it is most likely that, not being aware of the way you harm your relationships - you'll continue reacting and behaving exactly the same way you did before. It is only when you develop Self-Awareness and become aware of the fears and needs which drive you, that you can de-activate their power and choose healthy, appropriate ways of interacting with your partners.

Which fears might exert power over your emotions, reactions and behaviors?

* The fear of abandonment.
* The fear of intimacy.
* The fear of commitment.
* The fear of losing your independence.
* The fear of being hurt.

Which needs might exert power over your emotions, reactions and behaviors?

* The need to be loved, accepted and respected.
* The need to be protected.
* The need for control and power.
* The need for independence.
* The need for security.
* The need to always be "right".

Do you recognize any of these fears and needs in you - or others? Can you see how they harm your relationships?

As long as you are driven by one or few of these fears and needs without being aware of it, you'll keep sabotaging your relationship time and again without realizing doing so.

How can you get in touch with your needs and fears?

The only way to get in touch with the fears and needs which exert power over you is to develop Self-Awareness: seeing and understanding which fears and needs control you, and how this is being expressed in your relationship. It is only then that you'll be able to free yourself from their power and develop a successful intimate relationship.

How can you become self-aware?

Developing Self-Awareness requires several steps:

* Taking the time to look inward.

* Asking yourself honest questions about the ways you behave with your partners, such as:

a) Are you a person who "gives space" to your partner due to appreciation of his/her own space (even he/she wants more closeness), or is it because of fear of commitment?
b) Are you a person who desires much closeness due to feeling "so much love" towards your partner, or due to fear of being abandoned?
c) Are you a person that never says NO? Is it because you are "accommodating", or is it because your need for love is so great that you'll do whatever it takes to not be rejected?
d) Are you a person who "loves so much" and does everything for your partner, or is it that your need for control drives you to "care so much" in order to control every thing in the relationship?

* Observing yourself and realizing the needs and fears which run your emotions, reactions and behaviors.
* Acknowledge and accept the power they exert over you.
* Figuring out and understanding the ways in which they sabotage your relationships.
* De-activating their power and releasing yourself from their hold.
* Becoming empowered to choose other ways of reacting and behaving, vital cultivating a healthy, successful intimate relationship.

As you look at yourself sincerely and honestly, having the courage to honestly report to yourself what you observe, you will understand the needs and fears which have been controlling you until now and become able to free yourself from their grip.

Want to learn how to become aware of fears and needs which harm your relationships? Find out by visiting: http://self-awareness-and-relationships.blogspot.com

Doron Gil, Ph.D., is a university teacher, workshop leader, counsellor and consultant, specialized in the interplay between Self-Awareness and Relationships. Dr. Gil has taught this subject to thousands of students and trained physicians, managers, school teachers and parents on how to develop Self-Awareness in order to expand their personal and professional skills. Dr. Gil has lectured widely on these and related subjects at conferences world-wide.
In his recently-published book: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship" Dr. Gil explains how being unaware sabotages relationships and teaches how to develop Self-Awareness.

The Top 10 Qualities Women Find Attractive in a Man


If you want to attract a woman then you have to know what women find attractive in a man and see if you can't incorporate some of those qualities into your own life.

Most women will agree that there are certain things that they find attractive in men and here are the top 10 qualities that will have women looking your way and being thankful they found you.

1. Positive Attitude About Life

If the guys outlook on life is doom and gloom then he's not a very fun guy to be around. Women want a guy who is going to uplift them and not bring them down.

2. Sense of Humor

If you can make a girl laugh then you have it made. Laughter makes you feel good and when someone else can constantly make you laugh then they are someone who essentially makes you feel good.

3. Compassion Towards Others

Women tend to be compassionate by nature and when a man shows compassion for other people and everything around them they relate to the man on a level deeper than if the man had no compassion. Compassion and kindness towards others is a great quality to have and makes you look like a great human being to be involved with and to have as part of their lives.

4. Confidence in Yourself and Your Abilities

Men who are confident come across as a take charge kind of guy. They know what they are doing and they know that they are good at it. As much as it may be old fashioned, a woman wants a guy who can make decisions and take charge sometimes. If you don't have confidence then chances are you will not attract many women.

5. Aspirations and Goals For The Future

If you are someone who has goals and aspirations in life then you are a huge catch and extremely attractive. When you are moving towards something in life it shows that your life is going to be exciting and constantly changing. If you are sitting on your mothers couch content with your job and have no plans on ever going anywhere else in life then you appear very boring and stagnant.

6. Adventurous Side That Stands Out

Life is meant to get out there and live! If you have a sense of adventure and are excited about what life has to offer then chances are you will make women excited about you.

7. Strong Ties With Family and Friends

If you have a network of people that you care about then women will peg you as a guy who has strong family values. While not all women are looking to start a family, most women are looking for a guy who values family and closeness.

8. Honesty

Women can sense a liar from a mile a while. You may be trying to conceal the fact that you are lying but there will always be something in your voice or body language that will give it away. Women want an honest man - this includes being honest to her and being honest to yourself.

9. Ability to Communicate

If you are a one word guy then you need to work on your communication skills if you want women to find you really attractive. Women want to be able to talk about their day and feelings with their man without feeling like it's a one sided conversation. But more importantly women want to know what their men are really thinking and improper communication can relate a message that you are not trying to relate which can be hard to talk your way out of, especially if you are not a good communicator. So work on your communication skills!

10. Ability to Show Love

Even though I have this as number ten it may be number one in most women's books. Love is what makes the world go around and everyone including women like to be loved. If you have the ability to show a woman that you care about her through your actions, body language, and words then you are the kind of guy that most women need in their lives. Don't be afraid to exclaim your love!

A word of caution about these top ten qualities. While women may be looking for a guy with these qualities they are not looking for a guy with these qualities in excess. So if your goals take up your whole life and you have no room for family then it becomes an unattractive quality. And if you show love to the point of obsession then you can become a creepy guy who no woman will want to have around.

So make sure you have a balance in your life and you will be fine.

Tips For Your Love Life Questions


As a love relationship and life coach, I recently received this question, "How will I know when I meet him"?

I can offer simple online love live coaching on this one.

First, you'll have to get laser clear on what you want in your love relationship. I coach you online about how to make THE list that will satisfy all your desires. Then creating powerful unresisted desire is what you need to do next.

I show you how you can create desire with love life coaching, if you're in the low range of that emotional trait. I can also show you how to keep that desire fired up as you begin the attraction process of your dream relationship. Online coaching via teleseminars and group coaching are effective ways to get your love life in motion.

When you amplify your desires, you'll also be building your manifesting muscles and grow in belief. Building your expectation and belief and knowing that he's out there and at this very minute, he's seeking you, too. It'll take some practice because your question indicates a degree of uncertainly in your ability to attract a fulfilling love life. But once you've got these areas covered, you'll be certain when you see him and so will he. That kind of knowing is hard to describe, but it happens all the time. You'll know.

When you've practiced these tools, you'll be like a heat seeking missile. You'll be on target. Love coaching and life coaching can make it all go so much faster. It's magical, miraculous and exciting. And yet, it will feel like the most logical unfolding. Using these tools to bridge your beliefs from uncertainty to absolute knowing is both fascinating and phenomenal.

You'll learn much more about how to use these tools AND Seven more Secrets to Finding the Love of Your Dreams, when you get my FREE DVD called "7 Secrets to Finding the Love of Your Dreams"

Nanette Geiger is a relationship coach and author of many books and articles focusing on Relationships, the Law of Attraction and Self-Mastery. You can find more helpful articles on the Resource Page and books on the publications page of her website at http://www.NanetteGeiger.com