Monday, December 13, 2010

When You Feel Like Your Marriage Is Over Should You Admit Defeat Or Give It One More Try?


It is never a good feeling when you realize that your marriage is over - or at the very least, on its last leg. There are times when our relationships are not easy. But there can also come a time when buried resentments turn into to full-fledged bitterness and small problems escalate into insurmountable ones. Some of these problems can be worked through - it may be difficult, and both parties have to feel equally sure that the marriage is worth saving - and others simply cannot. So when you find yourself with the feeling that your marriage is over, is it time to pack it up and move on, or give it one final effort?

In the end, nobody can answer that question because only you and your spouse knows what really goes on in your relationship. Problems that lead to the dissolution of a marriage do not crop up, without warning, overnight. These are often long-standing grievances that are either left undiscussed or not handled, thus causing resentment to grow and grow until it replaces the love in your relationship. If you realize your marriage is over and your relationship has devolved to this point, it is going to be very difficult to get things back on track.

One must always consider the option of seeking either individual or couples counseling as a last effort to try to save your ailing marriage. By the time relationships devolve to a point where divorce is being discussed, it is often difficult for a couple to communicate with one another in a meaningful way. Having a neutral third party to productively steer and control the conversation might be helpful. But therapy will only work if both partners are committed to going and making the most out of the therapy. If your spouse refuses to seek counseling at this point, there is a good chance that, sadly, your marriage is over.

As difficult as it is to divorce, it is better to give both you and your spouse the chance to find happiness elsewhere than to live a miserable existence with someone you feel nothing but resentment for. It is hard to admit defeat, especially in something so sacred as a marriage, but there is no point in putting both yourself and your spouse through undue misery for the sake of pride. It is going to take a lot of long, deep, introspective thinking on your part to decide whether or not it is worth it to stay in the end. When it feels like your marriage is over, you can either take action to save it if you feel that is possible, or you can cut your losses before anyone gets hurt further than they already have been.
Whether you are still together and having problems or you are already separated and want to save your marriage ... the next step is absolutely crucial!

Don't make the mistake of saying or doing something that will kill your chances of getting back together with your spouse. Find out what you need to do to save your marriage and emotionally reconnect with her or him again.

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