Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Can Good Sex save your Relationship?


You may be in a relationship that seems a bit shaky. Even though you see your spouse everyday, you still feel lonely. This may come from a lack of intimacy between the two of you, but it is not necessarily a sexual situation.

Great sex will not solve the problem of lack of intimacy. Unless you are still in adolescent stage, or just act like a young kid, sex is not the answer and will not help you work out your problems. Keeping a relationship strong is more than just holding hands. There are various pieces that need to fit in order to have a solid relationship.

Bring focus on the good and compatible values that you both share. Each of us are unique and not perfect. Learn to bring balance into the relationship and realize that no partnership is entirely perfect or happy all the time. There will be times when you will disagree, but if it happens too much everyday, then it is time to examine the relationship and decide whether or not to end the affair.

Take the time to consider other solutions before you decide to have hotter sex. Look at what brought you together in the first place. Did you have hobbies or interest in common? Are you still doing things together now? If not, why did you stop?

If you look at the changes in your life since you first met, you may easily see why things are not going so well. Are there events or places you stop going to together? Did a vacation slip you by this year? You might see you had a lot of fun together before besides great sex.

Have you taken the time to talk to your partner and find out how they feel about the situation? They may have other ideas on why this is not working. Stop trying to seek help from friends or relatives for they really do not know what is on your mind or your mate. Both of you need to work on this together to save your relationship.

Share your feelings with your partner and let them give you their side without judging. Present a quite and safe environment to give them time to talk. No talking back or yelling just listen to them. This will help develop respect in the relationship and your partner will be willing to open up more if they know you will listen.

Once you hear out your partner, then it is your turn to express yourself. If both of you are still at odds and can not communicate without getting emotionally upset, then pull back and try again after a few days. Hotter sex is not the answer. Taking a step back may help you see things they said a little clearly and help you save your relationship..

Although you may be tempted to just use sex as a way to spice up your relationship, it is not long lasting. It becomes a cover up for feelings. That alone will not save your relationship. Dig a little deeper into the cause of your conflict. Try to also see their side. Once resolved, great sex will come as an added bonus.

Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life in a Relationship is Important.


Maintaining a healthy sex life in a relationship is very important. When the passion starts to fade so can the relationship. Of course we all know that sex is not the most important part of a relationship but it does play a large role. When things start to fade in the bedroom do not be afraid to openly discuss the problem with your partner. That is a major reason for a lot of failed relationships. It is important to ask questions and voice concerns about your sex life with your partner.

If you are concerned that you are not pleasing your partner anymore then do not be afraid to simply ask what it is that they would like for you to do. You should always talk openly about sex in your relationship. When you are able to talk openly about your sex life then you are able to spot a problem sooner than later.

It is easy to get out of the habit of having sex with your spouse especially in these days. When you have been married for years, you have a career, and children other things just seem to be more important at the time. Trust me the other things can wait, your relationship can not.

If you find that you are putting sex off more and more then there is a problem or there soon will be. When you stop having sex for weeks at a time it gets harder and harder to rekindle your passion. You will still love your partner but sex will just start to not feel that important. After a while of not having sex and not talking about it your imagination can get the better of you.

You will start to wonder what your spouse is thinking about your sex life. You will wonder why your partner is not interested in sex with you anymore. You will also start to wonder if maybe you two are not having sex because your partner is having sex with someone else. In most cases this is just a lack of communication.

To keep these thoughts from running wild in your head you just simply need to talk about it. You may find that there is no problem at all or you may find that there are bigger issues than you originally thought. If you are still having sex but the spark and passion are just not there anymore then it may be time to spice things up a bit.

I don't mean that you have to try whips and chains unless that is something you are into. I mean try adding candles and a sensual massage. You can try wearing something sexy and maybe even doing a little strip tease. You know what you are comfortable with and by this point I'm sure you know what your partner is comfortable with. So be creative in the bedroom.

Maintaining a healthy sex life in a relationship is the key to staying together. If your sex life starts to fall apart you will find that other areas of your relationship are going to suffer as well. You will start to fell neglected and maybe even unloved. It is important to work on these issues early.

How to React When Your Man Is Flirting With Other Girls? Don't Show Jealousy & Follow These Tips


Nothing is more exasperating and annoying than watching your man flirting with other girls! It is very demeaning and makes you feel like you mean nothing to him. If you are having this problem with your man and do not know how to react when he flirts with other girls, try out these tactics.

Tell him you don't like it
Don't keep your mouth shut and smile sheepishly at him when you catch him at it. Let him know instantly that you hate it when he ogles other girls and flirts with them. Be serious and let him know that you are not joking. Don't cooperate with him in any way and be firm about your views.

Walk out on him
If he continues to flirt with other girls in spite of you telling him that you will not stand for it, give him a shock of his life and walk out of him. This will let him know that you meant every word you said and will not stand for any philandering on his part.

Don't turn a blind eye to his flirting
The biggest mistake you can make is turning a blind eye and deaf ear to his flirting. Don't be a woman who is in denial. Ignoring his flirting and saying nothing about it to him is just giving him a green signal and encouraging him to carry on with this type of behavior.

Flirt with his friends
He probably takes you for granted and is too sure of your love and affection for him. This is why he thinks nothing of flirting with other girls. He is sure that it won't change your feelings for him. It is time to shake him up! Start flirting with his friends and let him see how he likes it. Chances are that he is going to be shocked and will hate it.

Find out what he finds missing in you
Have you thought of the fact that he is losing interest in you and is unconsciously looking for someone more exciting and interesting? Talk to him and find out what he thinks is missing in you. Let him see that other girls do not measure up to you and he will stop his flirting.

Wake up!
How long has it been since you have had a reality check? Have you been lazy where your relationship is concerned? Have you let yourself go and become fat, dowdy and uninteresting? Maybe this is the reason your man is flirting with other more attractive girls. Make the necessary changes you need to at once!

Don't nag or get too emotional when dealing with it
Do not be too quick to judge! It could be that your man is just involved in a little bit of harmless flirting. Maybe he is just a little bored and enjoys a little flirt now and then even though he still loves you. You should speak to him calmly and rationally and let him know that you do not like this kind of behavior.

Body Language Signs Your Girlfriend Might Be Cheating On YOU


Catching a cheating girlfriend is not always the easiest thing that you can do. There are so many clues and signs that you have to look for. And you also have to keep in mind that you might end up thinking EVERYTHING is a sign, when there really is nothing to be worried about at all. You don't want to end up accusing her of cheating, having her walk out on you, and then find out you were WRONG the entire time, do you?

Still, if you are experiencing doubts about whether or not your girlfriend is cheating on you, then you need to find some ANSWERS. If you don't, it will always be there in the back of your mind. You will start to lose your self esteem, and wonder if she is just playing you for a fool.

Here are some body language signs that your girlfriend might be cheating on YOU:

1. When you attempt to get close to her physically, does she give a pulling away kind of motion.

Even if this is only slight when she does it, it can be a tell tale sign that she is uncomfortable with getting physically close to you. Now, that can have many different meanings, one of which is, that she is confused about where you and her stand. See, most women, even when they cheat... feel guilty about what they are doing. And it shows in the smallest of signals. These are the ones that you need to be able to pick up on.

2. If you have asked her where she has been, do her eyes go down to the floor?

The eyes can be tough to conceal. Even when she seems to have an answer for everything else, her eyes can be the one thing that gives her away. If they hit the floor when you ask where she has been or what she was doing, this can be a classic sign of her feeling guilty. And then you have to wonder, what would she be feeling guilty about? Now, you don't want to spend too much time and effort reading into her eyes, though. For one, you can make her suspicious of you, and then you won't get an answer. And also, some women just are naturally submissive, and dropping their eyes down to the floor is just a natural reaction.

3. Does she seem to get fidgety when you ask her questions that would reveal that she is not being totally honest?

It's uncomfortable when you feel like you are being grilled. It's even uncomfortable when you have nothing to hide, but it's much more unnerving when you DO have something to hide. If you ask your girlfriend questions that would kind of reveal that she is cheating on you, does she start to get fidgety and want to move around? This can be a classic avoidance technique that means that she IS cheating on you. Of course, if you have been grilling her a lot, then it just might mean that she is uncomfortable with all of your prodding.

One of these signs alone is not enough to confirm or deny that your girlfriend is cheating on you. However, if 2 of them appear together, then you MIGHT have something to worry about.

How to React When a Guy Plays Emotional Games With You! 7 Tricks You Can Use to Tackle This


Are you feeling confused and worried because your boyfriend keeps playing emotional games with you? Guys can sometimes try to emotionally blackmail their women by playing games and having hidden agendas. All you have to do is know how to deal with this kind of behavior. Here are some tips that will help you.

Get to the root of the problem
Before you start getting anxious and confused, try to fathom why he is behaving in this manner. Ask yourself if you are the cause of it. Find out if you have been ignoring him or paying him less attention than usual. This could be why he is resorting to emotional games to get your attention.

Don't be blackmailed into doing anything you don't want to
If you feel that he is playing emotional games with you because he wants to actually bully you into doing things you don't want to do, then don't allow yourself to be bullied. Be firm and bold enough to refuse to be blackmailed in any way. Once he sees that you have taken a stand he will have to back down and stop.

Try to be patient with him
It is important to tackle this problem with patience and love. If you feel he is playing emotional games with you just so that he has your attention, then give it to him without getting upset or angry. Try to see beyond the mindless and immature behavior and respond in a mature and loving manner.

Let him know that you are on to him
One way to get him to stop is to let him know - directly or indirectly that you know just what he is up to! Once he knows that you can see right though his tactics, he will feel foolish and stop this kind of behavior.

Talk it out with him
The best way to get him to realize that it is foolish and immature to play emotional games with you is to have a heart to heart talk with him. Be sure to let him have his say. Hear him out patiently before you let him know that this type of behavior is distasteful and hurtful. Let him know that it will only widen the gap that is already there.

Ignore his antics
You could ignore his antics and pretend you don't know that he is playing these emotional games with you. This will not be easy as you will have to force yourself not to react to this type of behavior. If you succeed, then he will see the futility of carrying on and he will stop.

Play some games of your own
Trying to make him stop emotional games with you is going to take some effort on your part. You could play emotional games too. Stop being the loving, accommodating partner and blow hot and cold the way he does. He will soon realize that he is getting a dose of his own medicine and stop.

33 DREADFUL Mistakes Women Make In Their Relationships - See If You Can Identify With These.


You may not realize it, but you are probably making some very dangerous mistakes in your relationship right now; and those mistakes are compromising the success and longevity of the relationship. Thus, if you want to keep your man and want to have a successful relationship with him, you should carefully assess whether or not you (like most women) are constantly making these 33 mistakes with men; and if you are, you should do something about it now!

See if you can identify with these dreadful mistakes, and if you can, you must make some DRASTIC changes...

33. Arguing With Him To Make Things Interesting - When you get bored... do you argue with him? Most women do, and men get sick and tired of it. If he is NOT stimulating enough for you, talk to him about it and work through a solution that doesn't leave both of you hurt in the end.

32. Insulting His Family as a Joke - You may not realize it, but laughing about certain things his family does is generally insulting to a guy. It's insulting because he cares about those people. Just like he wouldn't expect you to start making fun of him, he doesn't expect you to make fun of his family either. Even if he laughs alongside you, he is likely considering the fact that you are insulting his family to him, and won't appreciate it.

31. Pretending To Like Things You Actually Hate- If you don't like something, but pretend to, just to show him you care, or prove you have something in common with him etc... the only thing that will result is him thinking you just aren't honest with yourself, and thus aren't honest with him. Guys can tell when you don't like something, and prefer you stand up for yourself, rather than act fake or be something you aren't.

30. Talking About Change Without Action -If you are constantly talking about how you are going to change X thing or Y thing about your life or your-self but never really do; it will irritate a man. He will think that you always want to stay the same and simply don't want to move forward in life. But guess what? He will move forward; away from you!

29. Insulting Your Own Family - We all have things we don't like about our family members, but if that's all you ever say about them, your man won't think too highly of you. He will think that you simply don't like anyone in general if you can't even say one positive thing about your family....which in turn makes him question the point of even being with you, because clearly, you are incapable of seeing the good in anyone you've been around for a long period of time.

28. Obsessing Over Him - He finds it creepy. You keep archives of him and every piece of dirt you can get on him, you do....even without his permission. You snoop through all his stuff, ask him to keep "keep-sake" items always, and are constantly clinging to everything related to him, so much so that you are ignoring other areas of your life. It's not attractive; it's just a guy's worst nightmare.

27. Doing What He Says Half Heartedly-If you take a guy's advice, don't take it half heartedly. He will see that you clearly aren't interested in the thing he suggested, and will find it offensive. He will think that you are simply only doing it to please him then, instead of doing it to improve your own life. Remember that if a guy gives you advice, it's to help YOU, not him (i.e. he doesn't need to be pleased in the end with that specific thing).

26. Doing The Same Mistakes Over and Over Again -He asked you not to do X thing, but you are still doing X thing. 5 times now he has discussed with you WHY he doesn't like it when you do X thing, and now you find him getting upset when you do X thing. So then you apologize and promise never to do it again, only to (you guessed it!), do it again! Guys hate this, and after some time will avoid you, because your actions don't match up with your words.

25. Lying About Things That Matter - A lot of guys are alright with a history, if you have one, as everyone has some history to them. If you have some baggage, guys can handle it too, as long as you move forward from it. HOWEVER, if you lie about your past (especially past relationships), or things that matter in general; and he finds out later otherwise, he will lose trust in you.

24. Telling A Guy You Want Him, While Talking To Many/Other Guys Simultaneously - There is this one guy you really like, you are chasing him, but he isn't budging. He isn't agreeing to date you or anything else. So you start talking to other guys, chatting with them. BUT, the original guy who you STILL like can find this out, and even if he didn't, he would consider this to be two timing. He will think that you don't mean what you say when it comes to personal matters with him, if he notices that you are saying you want him; yet you are seeing other men EMOTIONALLY....because the first guy isn't committing.

23. Disrespecting Yourself - A man knows when you don't respect yourself. Some will accept you as you are because they feel sorry for you, or they want to help you; whereas others accept you that way so that they can control you better. Either way, it's not a turn on even to the men who think they can control you if you don't clearly draw boundaries for yourself or respect yourself.

22. Centralizing Around Your Problems 24/7 - Is your entire life a mess, and the only things that happen to you are bad things? Are you always in trouble somewhere, and seem to centralize around your problems all the time? News flash: it's unattractive and if you can't stand being in it, why do you drag your man into it? He hates it too, and would like to hear something positive come out of your mouth.

21. Displaying Low Self Esteem, Yet Expecting A Guy To Lift You Up - You hate your legs, because they aren't proportionate to your body. You hate your muffin top; you don't like your nose, ears, hair etc... You think you are ugly, unattractive; no one wants you etc... All of these lovely things are told to your partner, and then you EXPECT him to compliment you and boost your self esteem. BUT, even when he does tell you that you are pretty, you turn around and still say the above things anyway. How do you think that makes him feel?

20. Not Getting Your Priorities Straight -You have a bill to pay, but instead you go and decide to buy a new shirt and a pair of pants. Now you're broke, so you go to him asking him to help you. It's a little thing called: getting your priorities straight. If he can see that you clearly don't know what's truly important and are always giving useless things importance, he will think that you are simply immature and don't want to be responsible.

19. Trying To Force Him Into Commitment -You want him to date you... maybe even marry you... so you talk about it ALL THE TIME. You demand reasons as to why he doesn't want to, because you don't understand. But this pushes him away, because he feels like you are simply trying to tell him what to do, and he doesn't want to be locked into anything or forced to do something.

18. Using His Secrets Against Him - He confides in you about something. It may not be a great thing, and may have even been a mistake he made in the past that he is already ashamed of. BUT, you use this as leverage in a fight to tear him down further, but this will make him utterly believe you cannot be trusted.

17. Gossiping About Others All The Time -Your friends, your neighbor, your boss, heck... anyone you can talk about you do. He doesn't want to hear about other people all the time, and he sure doesn't want to learn how judgmental you are of every little thing about people you see. He wants to hear about improvements in your life, how you are doing in general, what's truly exciting. To him, random strangers are not exciting, especially when told from this perspective.

16. Threatening To Harm Yourself - You get into a bad mood; so you start thinking along extremely negative lines, but you throw him into the mix. Suddenly you are telling him how you don't really want to live or how you want to die etc... He will take this seriously, and will not think it is O.K. for you to be using harmful suggestions as a means to get his attention or make him do something for you.

15. Calling Him Names When You Know He's A Good Guy -You are angry because YOU did something wrong or something isn't going your way. More so, he isn't acting how you want him to, because you've probably pushed him away a lot already. So you start name calling, and acting rude. Remember he's a good guy; so he's probably done so very good things for you. He won't take this lightly and will think you don't respect him.

14. Asking The Same Questions Over and Over Again -He isn't doing something you want him to do. Maybe he isn't meeting you, or talking to you for some time... so you want to know why. BUT, he already explained why. Unsatisfied with his answer, as though you consider it to be invalid or a lie, you ask again and again regardless for the reasons and answers. He will think that you simply don't want to understand and after that point will literally stop talking about that subject.

13. Being Annoying Because You Think He's Cute When He's Annoyed -There are some people who find others attractive when they are irritated or mad. If you are one of these, be warned that the other person may not appreciate it as much as you do, because THEY are the ones who have to be in the irritated state, while you do things to entice it. They will find you to be immature and will start disliking you, because you constantly cross boundaries they asked you not to cross.

12. Being Dirty At The Wrong Times - Men, like women, get into moods, especially when it comes to intimacy. Once again, men; like women; aren't always in the mood. BUT if you are, and you are pressing that concern over and over again although he already turned away from that topic; he will think that you don't respect his right to have a decision or care, and that you are utterly selfish. Likewise, if you are being dirty in a moment that he wants you to be proper; he will lose respect for you.

11. Begging Him To Do Things -If you have to get to the point where you have to beg, he'll likely say no, because now he feels like you simply want to be recalcitrant. When you beg a man to do something, you appear to be desperate... and frankly... out of your mind, depending on what you are asking for. When done constantly, he will feel like you are just too needy beyond what he can provide and will withdraw.

10. Doing Things He Hates Regardless of What He Says -If you want to be in his presence and have a man LIKE you, you should understand that this also requires a mutual effort. If he is asking you NOT to do certain things that he hates, but you do them anyway, he is clearly going to feel like you have an "It's all about me" attitude and that you truly don't regard anything he says as being important.

9. Living in the Past All The Time -You had a boyfriend who hurt you, so you continuously talk about it. A year passes, and you are still talking about how hurt you are. He is going to think that you are still not over that ex. This applies to all kinds of things from your past, of course, but generally if you feel hurt by your past and are always using it as an excuse for your behavior in the present, or as a reason to justify your poor choices or bad behavior is not going to sit well with a guy. He wants to see you progress, not sit in the past and whine about how bad it was.

8. Taking His Criticisms Harshly... ESPECIALLY If You Asked For It - Any time you are around someone for a long period, they are going to criticize you. BUT, he is probably doing such because you asked for it, or because he cares about you. However, you, on the other hand, take the criticisms harshly and act as if he is insulting you. This will really make him think that you are emotionally unstable and aren't mature, because you can't even take criticism even if you ask for it.

7. Making Unhealthy Decisions All The Time...Then Complaining About It -You eat a bag of chips, drink a can of pop... then munch on some pizza. NOW, he doesn't mind you eating, even junk food; but what he minds is when you complain about it and when he sees you are not as healthy as you could be. He will find it to be disgusting after a point of time, and will think that you are unhealthy by choice. It is not attractive to anyone when you don't take care of your body.

6. Being Lazy With Your Life - You don't really finish anything you start, and are too lazy to keep things organized or keep your life intact. You expect others to do things for you all the time, but he doesn't want to be your maid. Men get sick and tired of cleaning up after the messes you leave, whether that's with the emotional problems you have, relationships with others, or your personal physical well being.

5. Always Acting As If You Don't Know What to Do - When something goes wrong, your first response is to say "I don't know what to do!"... and then you might ask him to tell you what to do or direct you. BUT, this kind of reaction to things in your life only tells a man that you simply don't want to use any common sense or have to be burdened with the real life issue of having to THINK about and SOLVE your problems for a period of time. He will think that you are always just looking for instant solutions, which are not ideal in reality.

4. Being an Emotional Wreck -You cry a lot, then you are angry, then you are happy. Your emotions are all over the place, and at this rate you really can't control how you are going to react to anything... you just react. Men don't like to always have to deal with EMOTIONS. They know you are capable of logical thought and rational conversation. HOWEVER, if your approach to everything is always with EMOTIONS first, he will get sick and tired of having to deal with you, because he will find the experience to be just plain irrational and crazy depending on the severity of your emotional reactions.

3. Using Him and His Money -Some men will LET you use them, because they like to see you happy in the end, BUT at the same time they are evaluating you as being a user if you repeat this constantly. If you are always asking him to buy you things, give you money; or even if you are asking him for other favors all the time... he will see that you aren't giving any of the things to yourself ever and that you aren't even trying to give yourself those things. He will feel used and eventually will cut it off, because he wants you to stand on your own two feet.

2. Trying To Boss Him Around Or Control What He Should Want -He doesn't want to commit at this point and time in his life. But YOU think he is ready for that and should be doing it now, so you start telling him what he should be doing and start telling him what he should want. He will instantly feel like you are choking him with your bossiness and will run far away from you. He's a human being, not a slave!

1. Telling Him You Love Him and Expecting Him To Return It - So after practically putting him through hell, you expect him to tell you that he loves you when you tell him that you love him. Maybe it's your first time telling him, but either way, you shouldn't expect NOR pressure a man into feeling the EXACT same way about you as you do about him in the EXACT moment that you feel it. When a man wants to say it, he will, and if he feels it, he will say so if he wants to; if he is not saying it, it's probably because you are doing some of the above on a daily, if not weekly basis.

Do Not Miss This At Any Cost-